Room Service

by Barret Sills


“Oh, she’s certainly beautiful Jerry, with that blonde hair, yes, right up your alley.”

“I don’t even know her.”

“Is it because she makes you feel like you’re the only man in the room? The only man on this whole fucking cruise, and she just wants you. That must be an absolute tremendous feeling, you know?”

“Give it a rest Eloise, I’m trying to write.”

“Oh dear, I’m terribly sorry, just so terribly sorry, am I disrupting your precious silence?”

“Put down the glass, it’s going to spill everywhere, just everywhere.”

“I’ll open my wrists, I’m almost certain that it will go absolutely everywhere, and it won’t come out of the carpet, I’ll make sure of it.”

“Don’t talk like that, I positively hate it when you talk like that.”

“Fuck you with your ‘positively hate it’.”

“Darling, sit down, I need to talk, to just talk.”

“Give me my suitcase. Of course it’s empty, it’s positively empty.”


“Forget it, keep it as a souvenir or use it as kindling for your funeral pyre.”

“Please, don’t leav-”

“I’m, I’m sorry I lef- Oh my god, Jerry, it’s everywhere, just everywhere, Jerry, J- I’m so sorry, oh Jerry, why?”

Please, don’t leave me alone.